The Reign of Terror


By Jerry Lambert

Our dog is crazy. I never knew just how crazy (and crafty) until recently. My wife and I decided it was time for Skittles to stop her chronic begging. So when we returned home from our April vacation, we cut her off from table scraps completely. Skittles appeared to take it in stride, at first. In retrospect, I should have realized she wouldn’t take it lying down.

In order to put all of this into perspective, I need to backtrack a little. As you can tell from this picture, she is a beagle, but also has basset hound in her as well. Two weeks after we brought our crazy dog home from foster care, she made a break for it. She got all the way across Schoenherr (a very busy road) during rush hour and was coming back over when a lady spotted her and held onto her until our son could pick her up. My son has called Skittles a Tactical Genius. He has no idea how right he is.

Skittles determined that the Begging Boycott was an Act of War, and like any good General she consulted her battle plans for that very contingency. Her opening salvo was an attack on a forgotten box of candy canes in the basement. This resulted in red dye stains all over the carpet, along with small candy cane pieces stuck to it as well. She quickly followed up with a tactical strike on a box of fiber bars that she had previously ignored, or so we thought. Without going into too much detail, this resulted in a very disgusting week on our morning walks. Many similar attacks followed. This weekend, I am going to watch Patton again, to better get into the mindset of my adversary. She’s looking at me right now saying, “Come at me, bro. I’ve been planning this for years!” Stay tuned for more news from The Front.

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10 thoughts on “The Reign of Terror

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    1. I think I asked the question in the BNAT intro article, “Is this something I’m going to laugh about years from now?” I have to admit, I had a hard time laughing as I cut pieces of candy cane out of the carpet!!


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