It’s been a few weeks since I had to say goodbye to my beloved Skittles. As anyone who has ever lost a furry family member will tell you, there are constant reminders that stab you in the heart. It was the main reason I donated all of her stuff to our vet as soon as I could. That ride home was heartbreaking, but I knew it had to be done. The first time I pulled into the garage and suddenly realized she wasn’t on the other side of the door, just about killed me. However, as time goes by, it does get a little easier. Until you get hit with another memory out of the blue. Then it hurts all over again.
It seems to me that the biggest problem is you want to tell everyone about your loss as fast as possible. That way you won’t be constantly reminded of your pain whenever someone sees you without your shadow. The other day, I had a double-dip of misery. First, it was a dog we had met on our walk a couple of times before. Another beagle named Bandit who looked so much like Skittles, I almost lost it right there on the sidewalk. I explained to his owner that we had to put Skittles to sleep, and her kind words just seemed to make it worse. Then, at the end of the street, I ran into an old friend. She asked where Skittles was and the wound ripped open again. As we talked about my puppy, it brought up memories of her beloved Trixie as well. Before long, we were both choking back the tears. Just brutal.
We said our goodbyes and I finished my walk. Twilight fell as I made my last turn home. Then I saw them. Fireflies. Hundreds of them. Last summer, I wrote a story called Firefly Trail. The walk that inspired that story was taken with my crazy dog. Since she was always in tune with how I felt, I’m sure she sent this beautiful message from Heaven, to let me know she was okay and missed me too. This article is dedicated to anyone who has lost a pet suddenly. Please know that it does get better, and that’s okay. Moving on is part of the grieving process. They will always be with you.
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